By using what you’ve learned from empathic listening, you can communicate your ideas in accordance with your listener’s paradigms and concerns. By approaching those situations with the question of how we can change the system to make it work for all involved, many difficult problems can be resolved.If you want to interact effectively with people and influence them, you must first understand them.
Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan, Al Switzler.
It may be common sense, but it stands in direct contrast to most people’s modus operandi, which is to be first concerned with being understood.Again, Covey breaks things down into a step-by-step framework that makes your behavior easier to understand. No commitment, no credit card required.Discover thousands of products you can start selling online. Habit 1: Be Proactive. 12 Jan 2018 A concise, free and complete summary of "The 7 Habits of Highly Successful They give you something to hold on to when times get tough. As she’s based in Berlin, she was once also a DJ, but had to retire after (against her will!) In focusing on this area of your life, you get closer to your center and your inner value system.Mental: Reading, visualizing, planning, and writing. It means balancing the mental, emotional, and psychological differences between a group of people and, in doing so, creating new paradigms of thought between the group members. While you spend years learning to read, write, and speak, Covey states that little focus is given to training the skill of listening.If your principles are solid, you’ll naturally want to engage and listen to people without making them feel manipulated.
This is where we realise it is not just about us and that effectiveness happen when we work in harmony with others. To be able to practice these things, you need to take the time to renew yourself.Covey recommends you carve out the time to do things to renew what he classifies as the four dimensions of human nature:1.
Crucial Conversations.
As opposed to some kind of unrealistically happy and friendly attitude, the author defines thinking win/win as a mindset that is always looking for a third alternative to the “me or you” decision. Instead, to be an effective person we need to have a “principle” center – one that is based on timeless, unchanging values.
The thing I really like about these seven habits is that they are universal.
With a principle-led life, you can adopt a clearer, more objective worldview.To begin this chapter, Covey asks you to answer the following questions:What one thing could you do regularly, that you aren’t currently doing, that would improve your personal life?Similarly, what one thing could you do to improve your business or professional life?Whereas habit one encourages you to realize you are in charge of your own life, and habit two is based on the ability to visualize and to identify your key values, habit three is the implementation of these two habits. Covey suggests undertaking a 30-day proactivity test in which you make a series of small commitments and stick to them. It becomes the basis from which you make every decision in your life. We can only influence a small portion of the things in our circle of concern, and many people spend their time and energy worrying or complaining about the things they can’t control. Most people never get beyond this level.4) Categorization of activities and purposeful focus on and/or exclusion of certain ones.This fourth level is where the author asks us to operate. Delegate or otherwise cut out anything in quadrant III or IV.In contrast, most people spend the majority of their time in quadrant I and III, doing urgent things that may or may not be important, and rarely allow you to be effective. Proactive individuals focus their efforts on the things they can change, whereas reactive people focus their efforts on the areas of their lives in which they have no control. One way to describe it is when a group of people enter a simultaneous and cooperative state of flow – the “peak experience” of group interaction.You may have had experience playing sports where the team just gelled and the plays started clicking like you were moving as one body. Take a few minutes at the beginning of each day to review the schedule you put together and revisit the values that induced you to establish your goals for the day. Perhaps you’ve played in a musical group and found yourselves in a song where every note was perfect, every hook was tight, and you found yourself improvising riffs you didn’t even know you were capable of playing. Approach your communication through this framework, and you’ll be surprised at how much more easily you get your point across.This habit is powerful because it is always in your circle of influence to seek first to understand, then to be understood. The essence of Getting to Yes is to separate the person from the problem, focus on interests instead of positions, invent options for mutual gain, and insist on objective criteria.The key to this chapter is that in most difficult situations, the problem is the system, not the people.
Page 2. Knowing what is important to you means you can live your life in service of what matters most. The ability to communicate clearly is essential for your overall effectiveness, as it’s the most important skill you can train.
The last habit is one that is key to the proper functioning and renewal of the first six.Put aside the dictionary definition of the word “proactive” for a moment, as well as any meaning you’ve learned to attribute to it from your time in the workforce. More than just taking the initiative, being proactive means taking responsibility for your life. Whoever you want to be.
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